JustJen: “Where’s the Ketchup?”

Avoided breaking my neck on the kids’ endless Lego death traps, we finally sit down for dinner, and I’m brimming Oh, the infuriating joys of family life! Imagine this with anticipation. Surely, they’ll shower me with praise and gratitude.

But what do I get? “Mum, where’s the ketchup?” bellows the youngest, as if the gourmet shepherd’s pie in front of him is nothing without his precious red sauce. “This chicken tastes weird,” grumbles the teenager, who clearly can’t tell beef from poultry, even though I’ve told him a thousand times. And my darling partner of over two decades? The love of my life? “So, any chance of a bit of fun later?” Oh, right. Because after a long day of work, cleaning, cooking, and dodging Lego mines, I’m absolutely in the mood for a romantic romp.

Not a single word of thanks, not even a token “This looks great, love.” Just straight to the selfish, one-track-mind nonsense. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if he even notices all the work I do around here or if he thinks the house magically cleans and feeds itself while he daydreams about bedroom activities.

Not a single, “Thanks, love!” or “This is delicious, Mum!” Just a cacophony of complaints and demands. It’s like I’ve opened a restaurant for food critics whose only job is to crush my spirit. But here’s the real kicker. The moment I throw in the towel and order pizza? You’d think I’d summoned a culinary deity. “This is the best, Mum!” “I love pizza night!” Are you fucking kidding me!

So, to all the mums (and dads) out there who feel like their Herculean efforts go unnoticed, I feel your rage. Let’s raise a glass of whatever lukewarm beverage we can find to the unsung heroes of the household. They might not always appreciate us, but at least we know they’d be utterly lost without us. And probably starving.

Cheers, indeed Remember, it’s not about being a gourmet chef every night. Sometimes, cheating the system is the smartest way to keep everyone fed and happy while keeping your sanity intact. I might start creating a list of useful food hacks so I can spend more time relaxing, less time spent on their wasted dinners, Bon appétit!